Marysol Patton is a natural-born Real Housewife — the type of woman who’d don a fur coat at home because blasting the A/C kept her Botox tight and “preserved [her] youth.” So it was a shame when, after three seasons of The Real Housewives of Miami, her show was unceremoniously canceled. It seemed like the party planner-turned-Housewife had so much left to give.
Then, Peacock unexpectedly revived the series in 2021, eight years after it’d gone off air. Patton returned as a “friend-of,” starring alongside four other original cast members and several new faces — a cast that’s since remained the same, even after three seasons and the show’s move back to Bravo.
RHOM’s route to success may have been a rollercoaster, but as Patton herself will admit, the series is now the best it’s ever been. “At first, I was like, ‘Who the hell are all these new people? I like all the oldies,’” Patton tells Bustle. “And then I watched the show back and I was like, ‘You know what? They know what they’re doing.’”
She would know. Throughout both of the show’s incarnations, Patton’s remained a reliable source of brutal honesty and comic relief; even as a “friend-of,” she’s a key part of RHOM’s most dramatic storylines, finding the levity and humor in every mess.
The current season sees her friendship with Adriana de Moura, a fellow RHOM OG, deteriorate into mayhem. “That’s Adriana,” Patton says, rolling her eyes. “She always wants to fight with me and Alexia. She loves to have chaos with us.” Recently, de Moura has taken aim at Patton’s best friend Alexia Echevarria, speculating about her marriage. (“It’s hearsay and poppycock,” Patton says.) This comes on the heels of the Season 5 reunion, when de Moura wrote a letter addressed to Patton from her liver — a dig at Patton’s love of “cockies” (read: cocktails).
“That was the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen in my life. She’s just really grasping at straws to take me down. I’m still here and not going anywhere,” Patton says of the letter. “So, who knows what she’s going to come with next? She already tried to kill me with her flatulence, a slow and lethal, tortuous death.”
In The Hot Seat, Patton reflects on the unfair edit she received, the confessional looks she can’t stand, and her highly memorable RHOM audition.
What do you remember about your audition tape?
I was at Donatella Versace’s [ex]-husband Paul Beck’s 50th birthday dinner in New York, and I remember feeling like I was only laughing out of one side of my face. My mom wanted to take me to the hospital. I’m like, “We’re going to enjoy our trip to New York.” I got home, and [casting agents] had been calling my office to recommend wealthy socialites for Miami to try out for this show. Most of my friend’s husbands said, “No, you’re not doing that.” They wouldn’t let them, and I had this little voice in my stomach that said, “You should go.”
When I went to try out, I was like this [Marysol lifts her right eyelid and one side of her lip], my face was all twisted. I was drooling. It was a hot mess. But I sat there, and I was very self-deprecating. For some reason, they liked that, and I got the job.
Do you ever feel like you’ve ever gotten an unfair edit?
In Season 2, I was arguing with [Lisa Pliner] and trying to prove my point. Then, she admitted I was right, and [the show] cut that out. I called [the producers] like, “You need to put it back in because I’m not going to look like a liar and a mean person when she admitted to saying exactly what I said she said.”
Do you have an embarrassing hot mic moment?
I don’t remember. Back in the day, we used to go in the bathroom and unplug our mics, but you can’t do that anymore because you’ll destroy it. Or we’ll speak in Spanish, but now they got translators. There’s no getting away with that anymore.
Who do you think has the worst confessional looks?
Adriana’s had some pretty wacky looks. I can’t stand the gloves everybody wears. And listen, I’m not one to talk. I showed up looking like a bird in one of mine, with claw fingers and feathers. That one was bad.
What’s your favorite Bravo one-liner?
I like when Luann [de Lesseps] says, “Be cool. Don’t be all, like, uncool.” That’s basically how I feel about everything.
What do you think is the best Housewife-run alcohol brand?
I’ve only had Luann’s Fosé, but it didn’t have any alcohol in it, so… it wasn’t for me.
What would you say to a full-time Housewife promotion?
I want that paycheck. I get just as much airtime, but you see the difference in the paycheck. The real question is, “Marysol, if they gave you more money, would you say yes?” I don’t think anybody would say no.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
