Funniest Parts Of Warhammer Lore

Highlights

  • Wulfrik’s gift of tongues lets him trash-talk in every language to lure skilled fighters into battle.
  • Grom The Paunch’s accidental growth makes him a fearsome goblin leader with regenerative powers.
  • Skaven engineers’ ludicrous moonshatter plot to rain warpstone shows their chaotic nature.



The Warhammer World has been alive and well since it was created in 1983. As well as being a strategy wargame, played with miniatures from a huge range of fantasy races, there is also a deep history of lore that is intertwined with the models and armies of the universe. Some of this can be found in army books, while some are hidden in the Black Library‘s expansive collection of canon novels. Often, these large-scale battles and tragic tales of war can create a real connection to the named heroes and villains of the Warhammer setting.

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But occasionally, the peculiar sense of humor in Warhammer peeks through and reveals the utter absurdity of the setting in amazing ways. Here are the funniest pieces of Warhammer lore from all across the Old World timeline.


1 Wulfrik The Wanderer’s Gift Of Tongues

The World Walker’s Challenges Cannot Be Ignored

A Norscan army marches into battle in Total War 2


When the Norscan Lord Wulfrik was younger he drank a little too much mead at a feast held in his honor. He began to babble and boast about all of his victories before he proclaimed to his comrades that he was an equal to any warrior, both mortal and immortal. This challenged the chaos gods whom he followed, and so that night he dreamed intense dreams: the whole of the Old World and all of its denizens being drowned in blood. The chaos gods tasked Wulfrik with going forth and finding the most skilled fighters across the whole world and defeating them to prove his prowess.

And when Wulfrik awoke he had been given a gift. Wulfrik can speak in every language spoken across the Old World and can communicate with any creature. He was given this gift so that he could better antagonize and insult any warriors he came across to draw them into combat with him. His special power, granted by the gods, allows him to trash-talk anyone he chooses to battle.


2 Grom The Paunch’s Origins

An Undergob Story

Grom the Paunch riding into battle in Total War 2

The biggest Orcs have authority in Greenskin culture. Goblins are relegated to serving the orcs, submitting to their great size and power. So when Grom, a rising star in the Broken Axe Tribe, ate the flesh of a defeated troll and the flesh began to regenerate, he was expected to die painfully or even burst at the seams. However, perhaps due to Grom’s hearty appetite, he swelled to become the biggest Goblin of all time, comparable to the size of Orc Warbosses. This set him apart and made him a fearsome force against any enemies of the tribe and they began to raid across the map wherever they pleased.


When Grom accidentally sat on a Night Goblin the poor creature was assumed dead. But when the goblin jumped back to his feet, Grom took this as a good omen and promoted the thing to his personal banner bearer and henchman. Grom’s appetite only grew over time and the troll flesh has passed its regenerative abilities on to the goblin, leaving him as a real threat alongside his surviving servant, Niblet.

3 Skaven Engineers’ Moonshatter Plot

End-times Call For Desperate Measures

Warhammer Skaven


The Green Moon, Morrslieb, was said to predict great disaster when it appeared to be close to the surface of the Warhammer world. To some of the fantasy races, it was worshiped as a god, and to the Empire of Man, it was a sign that citizens should stay home and hunker down. To the rat-men of the Under-Empire, though, it was a promising opportunity. The Skaven – conniving and cutthroat rat creatures who hide beneath civilization – believed that the Green Moon was made entirely of warpstone, a glowing green rock that is a physical form of pure chaos energy used for Skaven magic and technology.

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The engineers of Skavenkind worked on a plan to get a near-unlimited amount of fuel by sending a rocket, essentially a nuclear warhead, hurtling into the moon to shatter it into pieces and send warpstone raining down across the Old World. While this plan, amid the chaotic End-Times that destroyed the Old World of Warhammer, fell apart completely, some Skaven wizards managed to use a spell to pull the moon out of the sky. Chunks of the moon rained down, causing huge devastation and proving the Skaven correct – the moon was entirely made of warpstone.


4 Bretonnian Pilgrim Fanboys

A Battlefield Collect-a-thon

MixCollage-08-Mar-2024-02-53-PM-9880

The forces of Bretonnia are made up of influences from France and England respectively, with nods to Arthur and the Holy Grail as well as Joan of Arc. Among their number are the venerated Grail Knights. To become a Grail Knight, a knight must resist all temptation and destroy darkness that spreads across the land. After completing their quest, a knight will be permitted to drink from the Holy Grail itself, which grants them an extended lifespan, supernatural strength, and the willpower to keep fighting for the glory of The Lady whom all of the Bretonnian belief stands upon. They are treated like gods when they become Grail Knights and truly become avatars of The Lady’s will.


However, worshipers of the knights often become grail pilgrims, following their knights into battle to witness the glorious power of their goddess. These pilgrims will collect and keep anything discarded by the Grail Knights, be it bedding when camp is moving or even cast-off clothes. This can prove an obstacle for Grail Knights, as pilgrims start to take their armor as they fall while the battle still rages. The most impressive of the pilgrims will march into battle with the corpse of the knight that they followed, believing it to be a blessed relic. Talk about dedication!

5 The Zombie Emperor Of Man

A Vampire Count’s Silly Scheme

Warhammer Empire


Mankind, in the Warhammer world, struggles against the forces of undeath, chaos, and terror on every front. What little solace they can grasp comes from their system of governance. A series of regions each having a leader who chooses the next emperor, and are then able to dispute and disagree with the chosen leader to ensure the people of their populace are safe. The Elector Counts hold a lot of power over the empire’s future. This forced unity and allyship is a driving force behind their survival; when three different prospective heirs were struggling for control, they set aside the conflict to deal with the attacking forces of Konrad von Carstein, a bloodthirsty Vampire warrior leading hordes of zombies and other ghouls.

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In the battle, the political rivals betrayed each other and a new emperor was chosen… only to be revealed by his rotting flesh and unholy smell as a zombie placed in control by Konrad himself. Whether it was to try to attain control or simply a mental assault on the Empire Of Man, mankind’s history books will surely never forget the zombie emperor’s brief stint in control.


6 Dwarf Grudges

Making A Mountain Out Of A Molehill

Warhammer Dwarfs

The Dwarfs of Warhammer live in huge mountain holds that conceal them from their foes and work on technological marvels that are unparalleled in all of the realms. They are often grumpy drunkards, but many fans have fallen in love with the hardy halflings and their obsession with honor and vengeance. Perhaps one of the most well-known aspects of these Dwarfs is their “Grudges,” stored in books, that list every single being that is owed vengeance by the Clan who keeps the book. This is represented in the most epic of battles, with Dawi heroes sprinting through battlefields to take the heads of enemies that wronged them generations ago. It also results in some comical situations.


A story from the Empire of Man claims that a Dwarf came to build an architectural wonder for them and when his payment was two gold short he returned with his clan and burned the whole town to the ground. Another rumor has it that one clan lost many men to an avalanche and so put the name of the mountain into their Book of Grudges, to eventually get revenge on the huge stone landscape.

7 Cathayan Astromancers Created A God

The Great Maw is A Crater

Total War: Warhammer 3 Ogre Camp

The nation of Imperial Cathay is ruled over by shapeshifting dragons who can take human form and live among their people. They were fleshed out beautifully in Total War: Warhammer 3, which gave them a huge host of units after they had been left off of the tabletop game in its most recent iterations. As players explored the detailed lore contained in Warhammer 3 and paired it with facts from old novelizations, one legend of the Old World shone through.


The Ogre Tribes worship a huge hole in the ground that they call the Great Maw. They throw the meat of their killings into the bottomless pit and pray to it for blessings, even conjuring magic from the hole. However, Cathayan’s had long been victims of these Ogres, and it is believed that they pulled a comet from the sky to crash into the Ogre homeland and obliterate them. The crater that this meteor caused, and the surrounding devastation, came to be known as the Great Maw, drawing the Ogre into a hunger-fuelled fervor. Inadvertently, the Cathayan Empire gave their biggest threat a greater motivation and, due to the belief of the bloated beings, perhaps even created a real god.

8 Nagash Was Stopped By The Rats

A World-Ending Threat Destroyed By Skaven Shenanigans

Warhammer Models, Nagash, Lord of Undeath and a unit of Skaven Clanrats


Nagash is one of the biggest threats to the existence of the whole Warhammer world and was an integral part of the End-Times that destroyed it for good. As he grew in power and essentially became the new god of Death, he relied on the ritual power of his ancient Black Pyramid to allow him complete domination of the world. However, while he fought against a huge Nurgle force that was trying to stop his conquest over Chaos, a Skaven force led by Warlock Ikit Claw drilled their way into the Black Pyramid in a ragtag fashion with half of a plan and no idea of Nagash’s plans.

While his whole plan revolved around the huge structure, Ikit and his pack planted a series of bombs and fled, ruining the Necromancer’s plans and leaving him furious. His anger was so great that he bellowed in a rage that exploded into magical forces around him and destroyed any foes left on the battlefield. He was stopped in his tracks by the antics of a group of Skaven who saved the day by sheer luck at the most crucial time in the End-Time lore.


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