I have frequently written about letters of intent as a means for parents of disabled children to express their wishes regarding care for their child if the parent should die. There are other reasons why, when drafting your will and related documents you might consider a letter of instruction in another context.
Wills typically do not include all your wishes. I have, in fact, spoken with many executors who received detailed directions regarding everything from the conduct of the memorial service to where burial should take place. Some of my clients have indicated they wanted their bodies donated. Others, where their ashes should be scattered.
When establishing prepaid burial reserves this can provide an opportunity to express to the family and the funeral home the individual’s future wishes. Poetry, scripture verses and other expressions can provide comfort to surviving friends and family. Some directions provided by testators include hymns to be sung or texts to be spoken. Some prefer traditional church services while others do not. One friend I know directed the kind of party he wanted.
Thoughts in advance of passing are, of course difficult but some matters are better addressed in advance. Some have to do with personal taste and beliefs. Some relate to handling of matters later or what the desires are for loved ones left behind.
For disabled children I had noted that legal documents can only go so far in conveying a parent’s knowledge and desires regarding their child’s future and noted that estate plans that consider disabled children, especially those who are still minors, can include planning beyond what most parents might not realize.
For a letter of instruction for a disabled child, after the question “who will take care of my son or daughter if I die or become disabled,” or “where will she live and with whom” — come questions about who understands her needs. Are there ways that I can convey special information that only a parent might know? You can also make informed decisions regarding distribution of funds and who should best handle them including whether a bank, financial advisor or trust account should be involved.
For a letter of instruction, the kind of information to be provided to an executor could include, among other things, the following. Is burial or cremation preferred? Was a prepaid burial account established with a funeral home and, if so, where? Would the maker of the document prefer a religious service, a memorial service with no reference to religion, or no service at all? Should he or she be interred in a family plot or next to his or her spouse? If a religious service is to be held, where should it be held? The maker could include specifics including hymns for the service or statements to be made.
Is the maker of the letter of instruction a veteran? Would he or she wish to be buried or to have his or her ashes placed at a veteran’s cemetery? If so where? Here, the person must qualify under the veterans’ rules and the rules of that cemetery. Would he or she want additional services that can be provided to veterans such as color guard, flag and other recognitions. Who should be invited to the funeral or memorial service or should an obituary suffice? Would the maker want an obituary?
Additional Considerations
Once the decision is made to have a letter of I\instruction other questions arise. Where should it be placed so it can be found and used for reference at the appropriate time? Possibly the answer is not with the will. The will might not be reviewed until it is too late to handle the details.
The best solution would likely be to keep all important documents including the wills, financial powers of attorney, health care powers, living wills or health care directives, the letter of instruction referenced here, beneficiary designation forms relating to accounts and insurance forms, documents regarding the prepaid burial reserve, information regarding assets and resources including names and contact information for their attorney, financial planner and accountant at one location which is known to the trusted person or persons who need to have access.
It sounds like a lot and it is but, once done, it can provide peace of mind. Also, remember to advise the person or persons involved if you move documents. They may need to be able to find them months or years later. This is important.
Janet Colliton is a Certified Elder Law Attorney and limits her practice to elder law, estate planning and estate administration, guardianship and special needs. She is a member of the Pennsylvania Association of Elder Law Attorneys with offices at 790 East Market St., Suite 250, West Chester, 610-436-6674, [email protected]. She is also, with Jeffrey Jones, CSA, co-founder of Life Transition Services LLC, a service for families with long term care needs.
